Mastering the Art of Body Language

Only 7% of all communication is verbal. 38% is tonal; how you say what you say counts for a lot. The rest, a whopping 55%, is nonverbal; in other words, body language.

Body language refers to all the behaviors a person exhibits as they communicate: facial expressions, posture, gestures, eye movements, and more. Understanding how to read body language can open new doors in both your personal and professional lives. You can learn when people are concealing their true feelings or even lying to you!

Here’s what you need to know.

Body Language 101

Reading body language requires you to truly pay attention to the person you’re speaking with; you can’t master the skill if you only half-listen to what people tell you.

As you listen, keep a close eye on how your conversation partner changes their posture, behaviors, or expressions as you speak with them. You want to watch for when their behaviors and movements mirror their words and when there are discrepancies.

Here’s what you should look for:
- The Eyes: Is your conversation partner holding your gaze? That generally indicates they’re paying attention and being honest. If they aren’t meeting your gaze, it may be a sign they’re trying to hide something from you. If they appear to blink too much, that might be a sign of discomfort. However, if they blink far less than is normal or holding your gaze for too long, they may be trying to overcompensate for the above signs of dishonesty.
- Around the Eyes: Smiles extend to the eyes; a genuine smile crinkles the eyes. A fake smile stops at the mouth.

• The Lips: If your conversation partner is biting their lips, they may be worried or stressed about something. Also, look for a micro-expression in the curl of their lips; are they turned up slightly in a smile or down in a frown? That may indicate more true feelings than what they’re saying.
• Fidgeting: Fidgeting is often a sign of impatience or boredom.
• The Jaw: Look for a clenched jaw as another possible sign of stress or anger.
• The Arms and Overall Posture: A person crossing their arms often indicates they are closed off to what you’re telling them; they’re defensive. An open posture and uncrossed arms indicate openness or friendliness.
• Mirroring: People subconsciously mirror the posture and gestures of someone to whom they feel connected. If you see this behavior, however subtle, it is a good sign!

No Exact Science

Never assume that reading body language is perfect or universal. People’s body language can be very individual; you’ll find reading body language easier the more you know the person you’re trying to read.

Moreover, body language is subject to other factors. For example, neurodivergent people, such as those living with autism, have trouble maintaining eye contact regardless of whether they are being honest or not. Additionally, some cultures, such as Korean and Thai, regard unbroken eye contact as aggressive or rude.

All that to say, once you get the hang of reading body language, you’ll find that people can keep far fewer secrets from you!

References: Understanding Body Language and Facial Expressions | 8 Ways to Read Someone’s Body Language | How to read body language and gain deeper emotional awareness | How to read body language for better emotional awareness | How to Read Body Language | Cultural Differences in Body Language to be Aware of